*"In discomfort there is growth."* ## Tips - initiate in a non-confrontational manner - Be clear and specific - Actively listening - Empathy and emotional intelligence - De-escalation - keep the conversation productive - Collaborative problem solving - Agree the next steps - Follow up. When things are uncomfortable we are more likely to generalise and distort what we hear. More biases come to bear We forget kindness and de-escalation. ## Session with Marcia 29.01.2025 - What is a difficult conversation? - emotionally charged - Assumptions and bias play a part - Telling someone they don't want to hear - Deliver bad news - Sensitive/ personal topics. - Misunderstanding - Power dynamics. Conversations about race. - Culture plays a part. - Remember how much of communication is non-verbal. Prepare non-verbally as well as what want to say - Can also over-prepare. - What else influences courageous conversations? - Race - Cultural backgrounds - Disabilities- tirets, aspergers etc. How the other person communicates - Trauma (family upbringing) ![[Kilmann's Conflict Model]] - Note how this diagram maps almost perfectly onto the radical candour stuff below. - Also think about [[Myers-Briggs]] tests. What our personality types bring to each difficult conversation. - E/I is about who speaks first (E) and who thinks first (I) - S/N is about facts and details (S) vs who is looking at bigger picture (N). S sees N as vague and difficult to follow. N's see S as nit-picking. - T/F. Thinkers look at logic and objectivity. Feeling is more about relationships. Worried about the relationship. - J/P. Impacts on how quickly want to go into the conversation. - Think about ![[radical candour#Diagram]] - I have a predisposition towards obnoxious aggression. Probably plays into [[Ed's MBTI Report?|my MBTI]] because of my focus on the vision and not on the detail. - Other ways of framing - Courageous - Necessary - Important - Conversations to listen, learn and understand - Brave conversations - Honest - Progressive - Growth - BE KIND - see [[Kind vs nice|kindness]] See also - [[Negative brainstorm]] -