## Definition - Empathy is not relating to an experience, it’s connecting to what someone is feeling about an experience. ([Location 2166](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2166)) - Empathy, the most powerful tool of [[Compassion]], is an emotional skill set that allows us to understand what someone is experiencing and to reflect back that understanding. ([Location 2096](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2096)) - The most effective way to be in [[Connection]] with and in service to someone who is struggling, without taking on their issues as our own ([Location 2029](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2029)) - empathy: - helps interpersonal decision making; - facilitates ethical decision making and moral judgments; - enhances short-term subjective well-being; - strengthens relational bonds; - allows people to better understand how others see them; - and enhances prosocial and altruistic behaviour. ([Location 2098](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2098)) ## Types of empathy - Cognitive empathy, sometimes called perspective taking or mentalizing, is the ability to recognize and understand another person’s [[Emotions]]. ([Location 2106](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2106)) - Affective empathy, often called experience sharing, is one’s own emotional attunement with another person’s experience. ... Affective empathy, feeling something along with the person who is struggling, is a slippery slope toward becoming overwhelmed and not being able to offer meaningful support. ([Location 2107](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2107)) ## Attributes of Empathy Theresa Wiseman’s Attributes of Empathy - Perspective taking: What does that concept mean for you? What is that experience like for you? - Staying out of judgment: Just listen, don’t put value on it. - Recognizing emotion: How can I touch within myself something that helps me identify and connect with what the other person might be feeling? Check in and clarify what you are hearing. Ask questions. - Communicating our understanding about the emotion: Sometimes this is elaborate and detailed, and sometimes this is simply, “Shit. That’s hard. I get that.” - Practicing mindfulness (from Kristin Neff): This is not pushing away emotion because it’s uncomfortable, but feeling it and moving through it. ([Location 2115](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2115))