## Definition - Charles Feltman defines trust as “choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.”He defines distrust as a general assessment that “what is important to me is not safe with this person in this situation (or any situation).” ([Location 2941](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2941)) - Trust is more of a cognitive assessment than an emotion. But, as we all know, conversations about trust can bring up a lot of emotions, especially hurt and defensiveness. ([Location 2945](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2945)) ## Trust behaviours - What are the specific behaviours we’re talking about when we talk about trust? Seven elements of trust emerged from our data, and we use the acronym ==BRAVING==: ([Location 2948](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2948)) - **Boundaries**: You respect my boundaries, and when you’re not clear about what’s okay and not okay, you ask. You’re willing to say no. ([Location 2950](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2950)) - **Reliability**: You do what you say you’ll do. At work, this means staying aware of your competencies and limitations so you don’t overpromise and are able to deliver on commitments and balance competing priorities. ([Location 2952](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2952)) - **Accountability**: You own your mistakes, apologize, and make amends. ([Location 2954](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2954)) - **Vault**: You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share. I need to know that my confidences are kept, and that you’re not sharing with me any information about other people that should be confidential. ([Location 2955](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2955)) - **Integrity**: You choose courage over comfort. You choose what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. And you choose to practice your values rather than simply professing them. ([Location 2957](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2957)) - **Nonjudgment**: I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for what you need. We can talk about how we feel without judgment. We can ask each other for help without judgment. ([Location 2959](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2959)) - **Generosity**: You extend the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words, and actions of others. ([Location 2960](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2960)) - Self-trust is normally the first casualty of failure or mistakes. We stop trusting ourselves when we hurt others, get hurt, feel shame, or question our worth. ([Location 2966](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B09DTJM18Q&location=2966))